To the people coming to Vegas on a package deal: there is NO $2.99 buffet…anywhere!

To the travel channel: take the programs off the air of the great meal deals at vegas casinos that have been demolished five years ago!

To the foreign visitors: Tipping is NOT a city in China! Service people in Vegas make most of their money from tips. It isn’t figured into the bill! T.I.P.S. means To Insure Pleasant Service To the French — Nevermind!

Inside Cab Driver Joke: how do you find the 215 loop wen you leave the airport? Answer: Follow the Ethiopian cab driver!

To the freaks that got into my cab and wanted to go to the casino across the street. On arrival, the meter was $4.80 and you tossed me $5 and told me to keep the change. You left your blackberry in my cab and I turned it in to the company. After 30 days I got it back and sold it on ebay for $80. Thanks for the tip!!

To the head line comedian I took to the Rio that was asking me all those questions: The number 1 question people ask me isn’t “Why are we out in the middle of the desert, and what are you going to do with that shovel”

To the people that ask “Where do you people in Vegas live?”: They don’t actually live in sub-basements underneath the casinos.

To the people that ask me “Where do you live?”: I really don’t fly in from LA everyday to drive a cab.

To all you French people: “Merde”